| I'm Positively Having a Good Day | The St. Catharines Standard - May 3, 2000 | |
But, just how many of those days can one realistically expect? After all, we’re talking about kids, homework, hockey practice, laundry, meals, music lessons and work, all wedged into the same 24 hours. Typical stuff for your average family, right? Let’s be realistic here, not every day can turn out just peachy.
So why then does every store clerk and telephone solicitor on this earth insist that I “have a good day”? That overworked, insincere phrase spills automatically from the mouths of total strangers who really don’t care if I “have a good one” or not. The very act of wishing me a good day adds a sour note to my day. I vote we banish that phrase from our collective vocabularies forever.
Besides, it would take more than a worn-out salutation to spread a ray of sunshine into my surly disposition. What I really need is a total attitude adjustment. You know: P.M.A., Positive Mental Attitude. If not for the sake of my long-suffering family, then perhaps for my health. After all, medical studies have found that having an optimistic outlook can result in a longer and healthier life. Cynical people apparently die at an earlier age.
Encouraged by the idea of tacking a few years onto this already forty-something life, I set out to change my attitude. But, crossing over to the sunny side is no easy feat. A little research into this Pollyanna state of mind appeared to be in order.
After perusing numerous how-to books, all professing to able to soothe my psyche and change my attitude, I discovered the key to a positive mental attitude is to practise “happy thinking”.
One good-attitude guru offered the following advice: “Every morning before arising, lie relaxed in bed and deliberately drop happy thoughts into your conscious mind”. Well you see, right there I had a problem. I do not “arise” from bed. Rather, I stumble, bleary-eyed and disheveled, reluctantly dragging my protesting body into yet another day. I am totally incapable of conjuring up happy thoughts first thing in the morning, and until caffeine is coursing through my veins, there is no consciousness. Happy thoughts at sunrise can be a problem if you’re not a morning person.
But that same expert went on to suggest that I should also choose one upbeat sentence and repeat it first thing in the morning and then again periodically throughout the day. Knowing full well that expletives aren’t considered upbeat, I had some difficulty coming up with an appropriate phrase. Although I tried to be like Peter Pan and: “think a happy thought”, mumbling a cheerful mantra to myself all day long just wasn’t going to do the trick.
So instead of those two prescribed techniques, I settled for “sort of” practising one of the more simple tasks. While unable to completely banish all negative thoughts from my mind, I did make a conscious effort to refrain from actually uttering those remarks aloud. A small step maybe, but certainly no easy feat for someone whose character includes an ample dose of cynicism. Along the way, I’d also discovered that two other constant companions of mine, skepticism and impatience, have no place in the optimist’s mind either.
But nonetheless I keep on trying to see the donut, instead of the hole. Hey, I figure the fact that I realized my attitude needed some fine tuning in the first place, was a least a step in the right direction.
And as for that not-so-great morning? Well, over the course of that day something happened. I began to notice a few things. A gentleman cursing as he struggled to change a flat tire by the side of road. The mother of two misbehaving children, having a major meltdown in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. An ambulance wailing through town. A solemn funeral cortege entering the cemetery gate.
Okay, all things considered, maybe my day wasn’t going that badly. Those other poor souls all seemed to be suffering through a day much worse than mine. In fact, the grass on my side of the fence was starting to look pretty darn green, thank you very much.
Perhaps it was time for a mental memo. Maybe that glass of mine ---albeit a plastic Pokémon tumbler and not a priceless crystal goblet --- was half full.
Well, Oscar the Grouch be damned, and God bless Annie and her perpetual crooning of “The sun’ll come up tomorrow.” Maybe I was having a good day after all.
Maybe I just didn’t know it.