| It's A Jeep Thing | Toronto Star Wheels - 11/8/00 | |
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Contrary to what some folks think, a 1997 Jeep TJ is not a vehicle. It is a toy. I know this because one has lived at my house for just over a year now. While I greeted its arrival with some trepidation, (after all doesn't JEEP stand for Just Empty Every Pocket?), it's owner, my husband, remains as delighted with it today as he was the first day he parked it in our driveway.
But let's be honest here, that thing is an overgrown toy merely masquerading as an automobile. Hey, any vehicle my kids can enter by swinging on a roll bar |
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and vaulting into the backseat is clearly a plaything. The fact that we'd be hard-pressed to fit the whole family, (even minus the dog and the hockey equipment), into this so-called automobile is yet another clue to its true identity. The dead giveaway is its wardrobe. Sunroof, soft top, hard top, bikini top, or no top, doors off, doors on, windshield up, windshield down; the thing's got a better wardrobe than I do. Log onto jeep.com and you can dress yourself up in Jeep clothing, and then fill your virtual shopping cart with so many other Jeep accessories that they've had to subdivide it into categories such as, Lifestyle, Gifts and Sporting Goods. And all that variety means that owners spend a great deal of time adding and subtracting auto parts. In other words, playing with their toy. With this many options it's inevitable that just when you're ready to leave the house, the resident Jeep owner will decide it's a No Doors kind of day and you'll be left cooling your heels while the necessary adjustments are made.
Incidentally, while that no doors no roof look is definitely cool and does elicit multiple thumbs-up and "Sweet Jeep" remarks from passersby, it reeks havoc on even the most staunchly lacquered hairdo. But then again I guess that's what the Jeep Ball Cap ($19.00 US) is for. And let us not forget the whole Jeep wave thing. Unbeknownst to me, when you drive a Jeep you're automatically enrolled as a member of the Loyal Order of Jeep Owners, which apparently means you're to be honored with the club wave each and every time you pass another Jeep on the road. As my clued-in teenager informed me the first time I was the confused recipient of such a greeting from a total stranger, "It's a Jeep thing, Mom." I've been told there's a similar camaraderie between Corvette owners. Funny, fellow five-year-old-slightly-scratched-Safari-vans owners share no such special bond. Again, it goes back to the whole vehicle-verses-plaything issue. Even at it's most basic level our Jeep TJ doesn't pretend to be an automobile. While other car manufacturers spend millions on such vital safety equipment as side impact bars and crumple zones, this Jeep simply doesn't offer such perks. The warning sticker right there on the visor spells it all out quite bluntly: "The top and doors on this vehicle are designed only for protection against the elements. Do not rely on the top and doors to contain occupants within the vehicle or to protect against injury during an accident."Don't kid yourself, even against the elements, it doesn't do so well. That curt caution is then followed by this sage advice: "Wear seatbelts at all times." Thank you I will, and so will the family pooch. The rule around here is: no roof, no doors, no dog.unless she's wearing her special doggie seatbelt. Yet despite the restrictiveness of that harness, jingle those Jeep keys and our hound perks right up and heads for the garage. See, even she knows it's a toy. But then again, I guess that's the whole point. If it was the same old safe, temperature controlled, air-bagged, power braked, smooth, boring ride of the family vehicle, it won't be as much fun. So, if it makes you happy, by all means go for it. Motor around, continually shifting gears in a noisy, rough-riding, wind-swept doorless, roofless vehicle. Just don't try to convince me it's not a toy. |
