| Perfection or Pigsty? | Toronto Star Wheels- 02/99 | |
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Forget gender differences, and never mind whether you hail from Mars or Venus. In this world there are only two types of people: car-coddlers and car neglecters. Either you're one of those folks who incessantly pampers and fusses over their always-immaculate vehicle, or you're the other type, the ones who careen around town in un-washed rust-buckets, totally oblivious to door dents and spot-free rinsing.
Sure there are extremists in both categories, but it's usually quite obvious which group you belong to. These two types of automobile owners are about as diametrically opposed as any two viewpoints can get. It's an age-old rift thats caused many an auto-related domestic dispute, since odds are, whichever philosophy you choose, your partner will be of the opposite persuasion. Granted car "neglecters" may be too strong a term. Perhaps "easy-going" or "casual" owners may be more apt descriptors. It's just that some of us truly believe an automobile is merely basic transportation; a means of getting from point A to point B in the safest, most gas-efficient manner possible. Something we manage to do just fine thank you, despite the fact were loaded to our roof racks with cranky kids, stinky hockey equipment and umpteen discarded coffee cups. Our vehicles function as part storage shed, part toy box, part sports locker. And please, keep your hands off the pile of papers above the visor, that's our mobile office. Yes, we realize that the back seat still has a sprinkling of pine needles from last year's Christmas tree. There's also enough Lego in there to build a skyscraper and more than enough Cheerios scattered about to comfortable feed a stranded motorist for a couple of days. We're too busy driving to worry about such trivialities. Admittedly, we could take our long-suffering, mud-encrusted vehicles to the car wash a little more often. But despite what you may think, we do keep up the mechanical repairs and standard maintenance. We aren't total barbarians you know. We're just not obsessed like some people. You know the type. Those fastidious folks who always park in the boondocks and force their families to hike endless miles through parking lots, all to avoid possible door-dents. They're the ones with the lifetime memberships to the local car wash. You can pick them out by the smile that springs to their lips at the sight of a fresh wax job. Or conversely, how all the colour drains from their face when a toddler on a wobbly tricycle comes even remotely close to their beloved chariot. For these people, two pieces of stray paper inside the vehicle constitutes a "pig-sty". They bellow "Get away from the car" at regular intervals to all who trespass upon their driveway. They actually have rules for their cars. Car-coddlers always grimace when they spot the unkempt vehicles belonging to their easy-going opponents. Conversely, car neglecters will never understand why some folks take pride-of-ownership so seriously. But truth be told, there's room in this world for both groups. It is rather nice after all, to go out for the evening and ride in a pampered automobile. (And not have to worry about pushing aside piles of debris for passengers.) Likewise, when life gets down and dirty and there's work to be done, you're certainly not going to reach for the keys to that coddled car. No, you'll fire up the old hefty hauler; the vehicle that'll get the job done unfazed by leaky diapers, melting ice-cream cones and other pecarious payloads. But let's face it; the difference between these two types of car owners is too vast. The rift will exist forever. So consider yourself forewarned. Should you choose to accept a lift from someone from "the other side", please respect their choice. Make no comment; just buckle up, be quiet, and enjoy the ride. |
