| Road Trip with Mixed Emotions | The Toronto Star Wheels- 07/13/02 | |
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It’s time once again for the family summer vacation.
But as any family knows, excitement over this annual holiday is always tempered slightly by the knowledge that in order to enjoy a vacation you first have to get there, and getting there of course means a road trip. And make no mistake; the family road trip is no leisurely jaunt, no enjoyable ramble. It is a tough, tiresome, long haul that tests the mettle of both car and driver, as well as everybody else who’s along for the ride. |
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But, family road trippers are a hardy bunch. Armed with a peculiar combination of fortitude, tenacity and amnesia (conveniently forgetting the horrors of last year’s trip), we are able to drive many miles in pursuit of the ultimate family vacation.
Those who have never been behind the wheel of an over-packed, trailer-towing, vacation-bound family vehicle may not realize that some very unique skills are required for such an expedition. VIGILANCE is essential. Always alert to potential problems, you must constantly monitor the surrounding traffic. No distracted driver, you’ve mastered the art of quick furtive glances that can instantly size-up any situation. Keeping one eye on the car in front whose lopsided canoe threatens to slip its bungee bonds at any moment, you glance over at the family pooch who’s happily rooting around in a bag of groceries. A quick check to the rear allows you to inspect the boat and bicycle tie-downs while at the same time monitor the backseat bickering situation. After issuing a quick reminder about fingers and toes remaining inside the vehicle at all times, you spot an unmarked cruiser lurking up ahead. Stealing a glance in the side-view mirror, you secretly hope that the little sports car that’s rapidly leapfrogging lanes will not elude the officer’s radar gun. Double-checking your own speedometer, you note your fuel situation then smile at the sight of your spouse who, head listing at an awkward angle, is snoring gently beside you, totally exhausted from all the pre-trip packing. STEADY NERVES AND SUPERIOR DRIVING SKILLS are always necessary behind the wheel of a family car, but never more so than when a panicked cry erupts from the backseat: “Ohhh no. Pull over. Quick!” Then, despite blaring horns and a flurry of digital signals, you must swiftly cross over several lanes of heavy traffic, barely making it to the shoulder of the road before the back door flies open and a stricken youngster tumbles out, spewing forth the vile remains of a greasy fast food lunch. Upchucking emergency over, you must then somehow slip your heavy, trailer-towing vehicle back into the steady stream of fast moving traffic, miraculously managing to wedge yourself in between a motorcycle and a cement truck. PERSISTANCE is key. An interminable number of unscheduled stops can wreak havoc on any travel itinerary. Thus when calculating arrival times veteran families wisely factor in frequent fuel, food and bathroom breaks. Rookie road trippers however can count on experiencing even more delays in order to deal with a whole host of problems, such as shifting loads, flapping tarps, bungee failure and duct tape re-application. (All of which is directly attributable to novice packing skills.) Mechanical difficulties are of course, unwelcome and unpredictable and one can only hope to slip past the flat-tire gods un-noticed. But, once you’ve successfully steered the family vehicle through construction zones, traffic jams and moose-infested highways, you can revel in the fact that you’ve actually made it. You have once again managed to safely deliver your loving family to their favourite holiday destination. After unclenching your hands from the steering wheel and relaxing those knotted shoulders muscles, you can declare yourself: “Officially on vacation.” You’re carefree; no worries, no stress, - that is until it’s time for climb back into the car for the return trip home. |